March 2013
The part where I quit tumblr.
When I joined tumblr three or four years ago, it felt like joining a community. It feels a lot more like noise these days (noise which I am justifiably guilty of contributing to), and I just feel kind of over it. My computer crashes from overloads of gifsets, I’m weary of the fandom culture, and what was once a safe space for people to earnestly and consistently speak about what is important...
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Remember when tumblr was all about how much better Helvetica was than Arial?
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Ah, youth...
[Giving a curly-haired friend a ride to rehearsal. She has two "pom-pom" ponytails in.]
Me: I like your hair. You look like Red Fraggle.
Friend: No one but us is going to get that reference.
[Later on]
21 Year Old: I like your hair.
Friend: Thanks. I look like a Fraggle.
21 Year Old: What's a Fraggle?
Me, Friend: *groan*
21 Year Old [confidentially]: No, no, what is it? Is it Star Wars? Is it Star Trek? I don't want anyone to know I don't know!
40 Days of Sacrifice.
Teen: It's Lent.
Me: Are you giving anything up?
Teen: Sweets.
Me: You're literally eating pixie sticks.
Teen: WELL I COULDN'T JUST STOP EATING SWEETS. THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE THINGS.
Me: ...You don't really "get" Lent, do you?
Teen: Maybe I'll give up talking to my boyfriend.
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February 2013
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Why I Am Having an EXTREMELY Uncomfortable Day at...
This officially balances out all of the silly crafts and ridiculous sports I get paid to play/do. Details are as follows, but - fair warning - some of these details are unpleasant, and might even fall into the “trigger warning” category (and I’m on my phone and don’t know how to do a “read more” thing).
Ready? Here we go:
I work with teenagers, and my program is run out of a church, though...
burbanked asked: I just rewatched TRUE GRIT recently as well, so yours was a delightful read this morning. I was also taken and amazed by the language and its poetry and the wonderful bit near the end when grown-up Mattie chastises the roadshow guy for not standing out of respect for her. And "There is no clock on my business!" is something I might start saying to my kids when they bother me in the can.
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There is perhaps nothing more comforting than...
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Ocean's 11, or "Ugh, Why Can't All Movies Be This...
[An expensive restaurant. Tess sits, waiting. Danny approaches from behind her and places his hand on her shoulder, his wedding ring prominently shown.]
Tess [thinking it's her husband, Terry]: You're 30 seconds late. I was about to send out a search... [seeing Danny, she is stunned to silence]
Danny: Hello Tess.
Tess: What are you doing here?
Danny: I'm out.
Tess: You're out?
Danny: Of prison. You remember the day that I went for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed.
Tess: I don't smoke. Don't sit.
[Danny sits]
Danny: Now, they tell me I've paid my debt to society...
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.
Danny: You're not wearing your ring.
Tess: I sold it. I don't have a husband, or didn't you get the papers?
Danny: My last day inside.
Tess: I told you I'd write. Danny, go now. Before...
Danny: What? Benedict? [to the waiter] How you doing? Whiskey, and a whiskey.
Tess: Danny...
Danny: Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum. The Vermeer is quite good. It's simple. Vibrant. Although his work definitely fell off as he got older.
Tess: Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now, which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Danny: I'm going to make this quick; I came here for you. I want to get on with my life. I want you with me.
Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief. I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone now who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.
Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?
Tess: You've met too many people like you. I'm with Terry now.
Danny: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn't make me cry.
I just watched the "getting the team together"...
And it’s still one of the best half-hours of film I’ve ever seen.
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blaien:
meryl streep: the only presenter who didn’t fumble with the envelope like a peasant
Only with the concept of public speaking…
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Great, now I have to watch a .gif of Jennifer Lawrence falling over for the next month.
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What is your "If _______________ happens, I will... →
For example, mine is “If Lincoln wins Best Picture, I will flip a fuckin’ table.”
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tapiocanaif asked: Peas and rice!
mood-stuff asked: I've spent entirely too much time in real life wondering: hiding (tumblr user Andrew Root aka) Undertrees or hiding under trees? Super subtle difference, but enough to make me crazy. And how are you? What's your dog's name? Does cilantro taste delicious to you, or like soap?
trainstationglance asked: If you could be an extra in any film what would it be and why? Also can you read me another fairy tale? I miss those days!
mood-stuff asked: What was the last thing to make you laugh? (Like, belly laugh-- chuckles and smirks don't count.)
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Rehearsal Blues
I’m a “bit part” in this show (as in I’m only in a little bit of part of this show), and as such I’m spending a big part of today hangin’ out backstage with my dog (who has a bigger part than I do). I’m going to attack some old asks that I’ve been meaning to answer, but haven’t. If you want to lazily chat on this Saturday afternoon, shoot me a message!
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Midnight is the perfect time to start making...
No, you shut up.
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“This is fun!”
– The high schooler I’m tutoring, on writing a personal essay in the style of Douglas Coupland.
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A Bright Man →
It’s Chad’s birthday today! Chad is the editor-in-chief of A Bright Wall In A Dark Room (BWDR), and the fellow who brought me on board as a writer for that particular wundersite. BWDR accounts for easily 90% of the followers I have, so in a way, Chad introduced us! Take a sec and wish him a happy day!
Hi I'm Andrew and I sleep a lot and then go to...
In between I sometimes do the dishes and watch movies
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Han, Luke, And Leia All Expected To Return But... →
zoobunny:
NO ONE CARES ABOUT THEIR KIDS. WHY DON’T PEOPLE GET IT.
AGREED.
Pre-prequels, the Star Wars saga was about these people who fell into something much, much bigger than themselves, meaning that even if these characters weren’t your favourite, you were free to let your imagination roam free to distant worlds and enticing new stories. Post-prequel, the story has changed to be...
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"Ok, so you say the person's name, and then you...
And so begins a 30 minute marathon of people hitting each other in the face with dodgeballs and laughing wildly.
The program coordinator arrived part way through, asked what we were doing, and then joined in, enthusiastically pelting socioeconomically disadvantaged kids in the face with foam balls (and them returning the favour in kind).
If I have promised you mail (either physical or...
It’s not not coming.
“I used to have this really creepy, creepy boss. He’d always come up to me...”
– Maria Bamford is kind of my hero. 